I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize