As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
