Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
