It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
