You made me cry and you don't even care
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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