Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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