you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
