I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
