i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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