Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
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Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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