ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
