The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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