I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
