Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
