He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
as a side note pls kill me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
