Christians are straight up FREAKS
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
