I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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