is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
