it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
