great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
