Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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