About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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