Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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