I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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