I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
