This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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