i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
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