Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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