oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
