There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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