true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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