OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
