If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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