If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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