They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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