My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
