WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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