What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
