Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
