I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
