Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
