It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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