Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize