Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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