How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
