And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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