the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
