She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
