Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...