opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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