can we get nightvision for the apartment?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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