I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
whose ass print is on the piano?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
