If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
