i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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