Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
