And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
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Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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