I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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