He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm like, not good at living.
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