My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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