can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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