my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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