I want to have your abortion
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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