sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
