I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
