Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
