Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
